Top Five Ways To Survive Flooding In South Florida

The drainage is horrible, you know it’s going to happen - how to be prepared

I’m just throwing this out there, I’m just an idea man - it’s not available yet - but hear me out. Next time there’s a lot of rain and roads become impassable, two words: Uber Boats. OK, that’s #1. I’d put rubber boots at #2 and I’m talking waders maybe. The kind those Orvis guys wear fly fishing in Montana. 90% of fly fishing is standing in a river, so don’t think of yourself as stranded in flooding; tell yourself you’re fly fishing.

To summarize so far...

#1 Uber boats

#2 Waders

#3 (new) Tune from 93.1 FM just a smidge to the right or left, say 93.2 - if you hear static STOP! Now, crank the static up and pretend you’re the last person on Earth.

#4 Play connect-the-dots with the dead bugs on your windshield (it kills time while waiting for a tow truck)

#5 Impress your friends and family with the knowledge that the word FLOOD has Irish roots. Many common variants are FLOYD, TULLY, FLOODY, and McATILLA. The name denotes peace and serenity; unless you car won’t start because of the new lake formed in the parking lot of the Dollar Tree store in Hallandale Beach.